Needless HIGH RISK Exposure For Business Using Computer Phones

The Facts

? Computer phones (VoIP) offer the most optimal means of communicating when considering quality and cost, and can save businesses up to 80% on their phone bills when calling from PC to PC, to landlines, or to mobile phones, regardless of company size.

? Over 90% of all VoIP solutions providers operate on unsecure lines or platforms, whether free or charging for services.

? Greater than 95% of all VoIP solutions providers do not have their own patented technology

General Information

? Calls placed on unsecure lines travel from one computer (IP address) over the internet to another computer (IP address) have little or no protection in between calls to guard against terminal viruses, Trojan horses, unscrupulous hackers, or uninvited guests listening in on private conversations.

These unsecure lines leave users dangerously vulnerable to the inevitable and expensive computer crash that forebodingly looms over the horizon.

? Calls placed on secure lines go through a VoIP platform (server) that incorporates its own security (including patented technology) against the ills of unsecure lines, thereby offering maximum security, privacy, and peace of mind for its users.

? Note: higher enrollment and monthly fees, or well known phone companies now offering VoIP services do not necessarily automatically guarantee security.

Recommendations

? Contact your VoIP solutions provider (if applicable) and request written information regarding security of their service, along with patented technology they own. Ask if their service hosts embedded spyware on lines and/or allows public access to names and numbers of subscribers.

If the requested assurances cannot be produced, take immediate action to avoid playing Russian Roulette with your business.

? Protect the security of your company's communications and privacy, while simultaneously experiencing exponential savings on phone bills, by locating and subscribing to a VoIP solutions provider who offers a secure platform that incorporates its own patented technology.

? Analyze your computer's security for free by going to http://www.Symantec.com/SecurityCheck/

Dee Scrip and her close friend Andy Murray operate the website http://www.whypay4calls.com. Where you can experience a 7 day free trial with a secure line on patented technology. NO contracts, obligations, or hassles!

Instructions... Guess Work or Gods Work?

I can't boast about my culinary skill, because I just don't have the natural ability to get around in a kitchen and "whip" something up. I am one of those people who lacks the imagination to throw something together. My sister on the other hand can make a gourmet meal out of a handful of ingredients and feed a family of 5.

Sadly enough I am the kind of person who needs directions, a recipe to follow because without them I haven't got a clue. Unless it's something I can bake, fry, grill or throw together in a crock pot, I am sure it would turn into a disaster. I won't guess at anything when it comes to the kitchen... or living my life the way God intended me to.

As a young girl, I was an accomplished seamstress under the diligent guidance of a loving mother who insisted I was the best at this craft, mainly because she was the teacher. The result of my time and effort that was put forth into "getting it just right" had earned me many awards and recognition. (This is not what was important, this was just a fringe benefit.) I had to learn the ground rules which included learning the simple steps in order to advance. Without these first steps, I would not have been able to accomplish much.

This is true of anything and everything in life. If directions are not followed correctly and in the proper sequence, the end result will miss the mark. If just one step is ignored, one small ingredient left out it will most likely turn into a disaster. Disasters lead to consequences. Consequences will always lead us to wishing we had followed the directions in the first place. Consequences are what will last even after we've learned our lesson.

"Practice makes perfect". How many times have we heard that one? It's true though, not only does it bring perfection, it also brings confidence because of the experience. This holds true of our daily living. When we live a life with all the right ingredients and follow the critical steps that lead to success, it will result in something perfect, beautiful and complete. Even if we slip and make mistakes along the way, as long as we are striving to complete it the right way, we can't help but be happy in the end. Not only will we feel good about our attempts, but God will also see the motives that led us to this point. He isn't expecting us to be perfect, just the intentions we have.

Bread for instance, is a skill that I have not ever attempted to do. But in order for it to raise it requires one very important ingredient or else it will be a blob of dough. The very small but important ingredient is yeast. It's alive and active. It's similar to the human soul. Christ is like the yeast that activates our lives into rising above and beyond our own expectations. Without Christ Who is the main ingredient in our lives, we would be a blob of dough. God gives us the recipe and tells us all the ingredienets we need in order to become a success in the end. Not a success in this life, but in the life to come.

It doesn't require money, education, status, influence, power, fame or any of these things. Well, what does it take you may ask to be a success? It takes the knowledge of God's Word. Know it, live it, and do not let it go.

"Take fast hold of instruction, let her not go: keep her, for she is thy life." Prov. 4:13 (KJV)

God's instruction in His Word throughout His recipe book called the Bible is full of foolproof recipes. Unlike any other recipe book, He will even tell you how it will work out if you don't follow it correctly. He will let you know what a disaster you will have on your hands if you choose to skip over some of the directions. In this case, if you miss the mark, it will result in death. Missing the mark is sin and sin brings about defeat.

But, the good news is that when God's instructions are followed correctly it will result in a prize winning product. You are that prize winning product when you allow Christ to rise in your soul. When you allow Him to be the main ingredient in your life, even though you may make mistakes, He will always bring you through to completion. With Christ in your life, you will be God's masterpiece.

Remember, Christians aren't perfect...just forgiven.

Unless you have asked God to forgive your sins and admit that you are a sinner and accept His Son Christ as your Savior, you are not saved. Ask Him now to save you through His Grace and turn your life into a beautiful masterpiece.

Vivian Gordon is a follower of Christ. Her life was once built on sinking sand, but now it's standing on the Rock. While many are called, she is one of the few who are chosen to do His perfect will through teaching others. Inspired to write inspirational articles for others to take hold of the truth in God's Word.

Going Global: Communication Across Mental Boundaries

A completed communication consists of a sender and a receiver. If there is just a sender - like in a pitch, or a lecture, or a commercial, or advertisement, or even a newsletter - it's not a communication, but an assertion, or a monologue, or an opinion.

Sometimes, when we have something we passionately want to say, we become so involved in formulating the crucial words that might make the listener take heed (we are caught up in needing to be heard) that we forget to ask ourselves one fundamental question: do we want to speak? Or have someone hear us?

I just found out how difficult this choice can be on a recent trip to Hong Kong and Shanghai. And this is a problem many of us face when attempting to enter another culture - be it a personal, inner culture, a group culture, or a country culture.

REMAINING IN OUR OWN WORLD

Let me begin by saying that both Hong Kong and Shanghai are where I believe the revolutionaries went when they left the States four years ago. Hong Kong is a very exciting place. I've been there twice now, and find the people smart, innovative, sophisticated, and creative. They are bursting with dynamism and ready to take risks. Shanghai is quite different and less international, but it, too, it exudes excitement and warmth and vibrancy - filled with anticipation and a special glow (with a large dose of humor and a gold-rush mentality).

Both cities welcome change, believing it's better to face change than stay the same. In fact, I find it more exciting to do business there than in the States right now: from my vantage point as an innovator, it seems to me that America has become rather risk-averse.

The 'dot.com' era's disintegration caused the American companies I've done business with to cut back on innovation. As a result, they're holding on to what they know - however successful that might be - and trying to make it work. Companies are 'making do' or doing the same thing harder/faster/larger.

Before I open up a discussion around global communication, let me take a long 'way round to harp on one of my pet peeves (I'll come back full circle, you'll see): I see this inability to truly go outside our thinking box and do something different as actually harming our revenues and, worse, our future.

I see Hong Kong and Shanghai growing, innovating, changing, learning, creating, and barging full throttle into the unknown, and having the massive growth and expansion that comes with that type of risk. I'm afraid that America will have a long road to hoe to catch up when it's ready to begin innovating again. Not to mention that the innovators may not want to move back from Asia where the action is.

PUSHING PRODUCTS INTO EXISTING SYSTEMS The problem is most apparent to me in the sales field, of course. It's the field I have known since the 70s and the field I've been innovating in since the 80s. Our risk-averse behavior is creating its own set of problems, and indeed holding back our revenue growth.

Here are the four main issues that I see as making sales more difficult in today's environment:

* Competition is global, and products can be easily purchased from anywhere in the world. Products have invisible competition, so pitching and presenting is often done in a vacuum.

* Decisions entail highly complex layers of consideration before buyers make final buying decisions. The sales cycle is elongated accordingly and the seller is left out of the loop in the process.

* Buyers' demands are almost ruthless: because of the amount of information they can get over the internet, they know exactly what they want, exactly what they can ask for and exactly how much they are going to pay. All of this, before they make a purchase.

* Because products seem so similar when viewed on the internet or in marketing descriptions, buyers can't differentiate. They end up commoditizing products, and buyers are buying more on price than ever before.

Given the above, and the commensurate revenue sluggishness, companies are attempting to close the gap in sales cycles and product/price differentiation by trying to sell harder, or gather data differently, or offering more product information, or attempting to 'understand buyer's buying patterns' (a tip of the hat to my work over the past decade, but still not touching the heart of the issue), etc.

When this isn't working, they are adding software (i.e. CRM), or using incentives to get sales folks to work harder, or using price as an incentive to close deals. All of the above continue to be rooted in conventional sales thinking and are still predicated on the product as being the primary offering, rather than adding new, innovative skills to the sales process itself.

In fact, sellers still work hard at making their product fit the buyer rather than the other way 'round. Even the newer form of selling methodologies are different forms of traditional sales, just with a customer focus assertion as a new 'angle'. Sales continues to be based on selling something. The belief systems and the very fabric of the thinking has remained the same for a long, long time. And in this global market we're in today, the rules, the thinking, and the focus must change or there will be continued loss of revenues.

In the meantime, we'll continue to experience our current problems: Longer than necessary sales cycles. Difficulty closing. Business being lost for unknown reasons. Profit margins slipping as prices get cut to their slimmest margins. Difficulty discovering how/why people are buying. Great presentations and proposals that don't win the business. Rambling excuses as to when deals might close.

With this array of problems, supervisors - who are now hiring 'seasoned' sellers who know their product and market (as if were the magic bullet) - are perplexed, and end up firing the salespeople when they don't bring in the expected results.

But while companies play musical sales people (firing one person and hiring the same person with a different name), they are not changing the nature of the problems inherent in the very act of 'sales'.

ARE WE SELLING? OR HELPING FOLKS BUY? Indeed, the very act of the sales process causes the deficient results.

Before our modern business era, pushing information or gathering client data to help them solve problems was inefficient, but at least it worked eventually. But that's not happening today. Nothing is happening.

It's just not effective any more to push (with product or service) against a system (like a buyer's culture or environment) and assume that the system (complex, global) will open enthusiastically for the product being pushed.

When we will truly get it that it's not about our product but about the buyer's environment? Not about the seller but about how the buyer needs to manage their internal variables before making a decision? Not about how or why the buyer needs our product but about the kind of solution that will address all of the buyer's relationships, initiatives, and norms.

Even when sellers think they are 'gathering data' so they can do that mythical thing they now think they are doing by 'becoming a trusted advisor', they are only focusing on the specific bits of information they can use to support their sales pitch. So by pushing against the system, giving information that will be relevant only after the buyer understands what their solution needs to contain, trying to differentiate themselves by giving 'good service', it's causing buyers to spend more time doing external research, taking longer to do their internal systems-change work, and making our differentiation process even more difficult to boot.

Now that I've complained heartily around the problem - the erroneous belief that we can convince someone to do what we want them to do by pushing product or solution ideas into an existent system that protects its status quo - let me admit that I entered China doing the exact thing. I was selling the idea that there is a new sales paradigm, and that they would do well to learn it, by golly. And, of course, I was the One who would teach it to them.

This will come as a gleeful reminder to some: working from the belief that we have some 'important' solution to share, and we know we're right and think everyone wants to hear us (cuz we're so right, of course) is a universal, alas, human, trait.

BUT AM I COMMUNICATING? For some reason, I entered China believing that 'people are people', that given rapport, collaboration, mutual beliefs and needs, and a shared language, that I'd be able to communicate easily with anyone. I found that to be basically true in Hong Kong - a reputed high-level international business community - but was shocked to find a Chinese (Shanghainese I believe is the right word here) audience staring at me without comment or expression or agreement.

What an eye opener. I thought I was good, and smart, as well as 'right'. Just like a seller selling a product (um, I WAS a seller selling a product!) and believing that their product is needed by the buyer, I just went in and did a great job introducing all of the material that would get them to believe that, yes, I had the credentials to have the right answers, and that no, they weren't doing sales right, and yes, I could teach them that my way was better, and yes, they truly needed my material. Right.

I did what every sales person has been taught to do from day one: know my product and love it; know how to pitch it so the passion comes through along with the features-functions-benefits; look great and present well; ask a few well-intentioned questions that get the audience to recognize how right I am; be solicitous and understanding so I'm trusted quickly? I did it all just right.

And there were these wonderful, eager-to-learn faces staring back at me blankly, as I continued on my own trip.

What I realized - too late for that audience, but mercifully in time for the next audience - was that I had to do what I taught:

* discover how people in China perceived their business and sales environments (Where are you, in Buying Facilitation language);

* lead people through the discovery process to determine what, if anything, was missing;

* supporting them in fixing their problems with their own inherent policies, people, and skills (Systems with a missing segment tend to self correct wherever possible);

* and help them think through all of their internal systems that would have to shift if they were going to think a new way (Systems won't do anything different if they can't manage the chaos that the change would bring).

GLOBAL COMMUNICATION

With the world getting smaller, and each of us being thrown into some form of global competition daily, I think we're going to need to learn how to get out of our own way. It's truly time to begin getting out of our own passion, our own belief in the 'rightness' of our messages and products, our need to have it our own way.

Our world is shrinking. The internet has made this a very small globe, and what affects us in the States is recognized and managed in major cities all around the world simultaneously. In fact, unless we Americans recognize that it's time to get into the pool with the rest of the world, we are going to be left behind even more than we are already.

I remember one of the first thoughts I had upon entering Hong Kong for the first time: what is going ON here? They seem much smarter, their technology is ahead of ours, and they are thinking in ways we haven't begun to think yet? I bet I could find what's wrong with this picture because it can't be as wonderful as it seems. But I soon recognized that my belief that America is on the leading edge was faulty.

As an American, I (wrongly, goodness knows) assumed that we were the smartest, or the furthest advanced. I'm seeing now with new eyes: we're not the smartest, nor are we even advanced. We've retreated too far in the last few years to hold those titles. We can win it back, and it will be a great competitive field to play in, but we first must remember the following (and these are the same mistakes sales people use when trying to pitch a product):

1. we have no one to communicate with unless we are willing to enter into communications where there is both a sender AND a receiver;

2. people decide together through collaboration. We cannot stand up, declare our nationality, and assume people will hear us cuz we're smart;

3. until or unless people are willing to reexamine their existing beliefs, and can change their internal composition while avoiding chaos, they will not be willing to change;

4. as people outside the 'other's' system, we will never understand all of the factors that are involved with a mature culture (country, group, person);

5. for those of us with messages (or products and services) to share, our jobs are to serve other systems by supporting them in recognizing, aligning, confronting, and shifting existent beliefs and behaviors so they might be willing to discover their best solutions should they seek to add new material to what they've already got.

By working with others as if we have the answers, by only finding out what they might need in the area our product serves, by assuming groups will change because we have a solution, by only asking questions that glean data to help us sell or position our product, we are senders with no receivers.

If we want to be successful in sales, in communication, in partnering, we've got to begin to enter with 'beginner's mind' and learn what the rest of the world has to teach us. Then we might have a shot at becoming again the most innovative, successful country in the world.

Sharon Drew Morgen is the author of NYTimes Best Seller Selling with Integrity. She speaks, teaches and consults globally around her visionary sales method, Buying Facilitation.

http://www.newsalesparadigm.com http://www.sharondrewmorgen.com 512-457-0246 Morgen Facilitations, Inc. Austin, TX

Much Ado About A Lot!

I say public relations can be a matter of survival for your organization.

So, to me, making your business a success is a lot over which to raise much ado!

Especially when the very people who hold your future in their hands - your key, target audiences - may harbor negative perceptions likely to hurt you by turning into negative behaviors.

Needn't happen.

In the first place, you should already be monitoring those potentially damaging perceptions by regularly interacting with those important publics. Why let them stew until they boil over?

By letting that kind of personal opinion monitoring identify what's on the minds of those important people, you can decide on a specific behavior you wish to see come about, one that flows from a specific perception.

Progress!! You've just set your public relations goal - create a specific behavior from an equally specific perception.

Let's try it out! To do so, you need a strategy to implement that goal. Fortunately, we have just three strategies from which to choose: create opinion (perceptions) if none already exist, change existing opinion, or reinforce it.

Let's decide to "create opinion." First step: we need to prepare a persuasive message. It will be designed to create awareness of your products and services among your key, target audience. Or it might explain your position on a con- tentious issue with which some members of your target audience disagree.

Now make sure the message is focused on their perceptions; that it carefully explains the facts as you see them; and that the message is believable. Read it to a colleague to check that it meets these persuasion tests.

Now, how do you get this persuasive message over which you have worked so hard, into the consciousness of those folks who make up your key, target audience?

You use our tried and tested "beasts of burden," communications tactics designed to carry messages to the right ears and eyeballs. Luckily you have a basketful at your disposal. Speeches, emailings, news releases, personal meetings, editorial board interviews, special events and scores of others.

Are we succeeding in moving opinion among our target audience in our direction?

We'll never know if the effort is succeeding unless we regularly monitor the changing perceptions and behaviors of that #1 target audience. First, we want to know if our message was received, then how many remember seeing or hearing it, and then how many can recall its content, our message!

Finally, what we need to see is the perceptions and behaviors - i.e., opinions - of the target public moving in our direction. When we do, we can say with assurance that our public relations program is succeeding.

Please feel free to publish this article and resource box in your ezine, newsletter, offline publication or website. A copy would be appreciated at bobkelly@TNI.net.

Robert A. Kelly ? 2003.

Bob Kelly counsels, writes and speaks to business, non-profit and association managers about using the fundamental premise of public relations to achieve their operating objectives. He has been DPR, Pepsi-Cola Co.; AGM-PR, Texaco Inc.; VP-PR, Olin Corp.; VP-PR, Newport News Shipbuilding & Drydock Co.; director of communications, U.S. Department of the Interior, and deputy assistant press secretary, The White House. He holds a bachelor of science degree from Columbia University, major in public relations.

Visit: http://www.prcommentary.com; bobkelly@TNI.net

How to Take Charge of the TV

Many children enjoy TV, and they can learn from it. Keep in mind, though, that young children often imitate what they see, good or bad. It's up to you to decide how much TV and what kinds of shows your child should watch.

Think about your child's age and choose the types of things that you want him to see, learn, and imitate.

Look for TV shows that

--teach your child something,

--hold his interest,

--encourage him to listen and question,

--help him learn more words,

--make him feel good about himself, and

--introduce him to new ideas and things.

"Sesame Street," "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood," "Blue's Clues," "Between the Lions," "Reading Rainbow," "Barney & Friends," "Zoom," and "Zoboomafoo," are some shows that you may want to consider. Many other good children's programs are available on public television stations and on cable channels such as the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon.

Limit the time that you let your child watch TV. Too much television cuts into important activities in a child's life, such as reading, playing with friends, and talking with family members.

Watch TV with your child when you can. Talk with him about what you see. Answer his questions. Try to point out the things in TV programs that are like your child's everyday life.

When you can't watch TV with your child, spot check to see what he is watching. Ask questions after the show ends. See what excites him and what troubles him. Find out what he has learned and remembered.

Go to the library and find books that explore the themes of the TV shows that your child watches. Or help your child to use his drawings or pictures cut from magazines to make a book based on a TV show.

Anil Vij is the creator of the ultimate parenting toolbox, which has helped parents all over the world raise smarter, healthier and happier children ==> http://www.expertsonparenting.com

Sign up for Anil's Experts On Parenting Newsletter - just send a blank email ===> mailto: parentingnews@aweber.com

Have Some Fun With Cell Phone Games

You're never too old to have some fun. With the introduction of games as cellular accessories, you cell phone can now double as a personal gaming device.

Since cell phones have become a vital part of everyday life for many people, it's only natural that they should offer recreational opportunities as well. With the newer models of cell phones, you can use your phone read e-mail, text-message your friends, take pictures, and play games. Think of your cellular phone as a tiny personal computer.

The selection of cell phone games offers something for everyone. Of course, you can play the always popular Tetris, but available titles also include sports games, word games, puzzles, and trivia. Games typically operate through your cell phone's web browser, so you'll likely need internet access on your phone if you want to play.

Since cell phones have limited graphics capabilities, the available games aren't visual masterpieces like the games designed for an Xbox, Playstation 2, or GameCube. Most of the available titles are primarily text-based. However, they are a fun way to pass time while you're waiting in line or stuck in traffic.

Another difference between cellular phone games and the video games you might be familiar with is that cellular games can't rely on a game pad controller. Cell phone games are also typically played with one hand, which makes it harder to develop complex fighting or action sequences.

The most exciting aspect of the cellular accessories is the ability to integrate games with the interactive capabilities of your phone. Phones with Bluetooth connectivity let you connect with nearby players for a quick game. Some games allow you to use your phone's text messaging capabilities to gather clues.

Games for your cell phone are available for purchase or as free downloads on many different websites. By typing "cell phone games" into any major search engine, you'll be able to find a wide selection of sources for these fun cellular accessories.

Timothy Gorman is a successful webmaster and publisher of Cellular-Phone-Solutions.com. He provides cellular phone plans, service and free cellular phones on his website that you can research in your pajamas.

How to Find a Good UK Secured Homeowner Loan

If you're looking for a UK secured homeowner loan, you might not know where to turn.

How can you insure that you're getting the best interest rates and repayment terms? Exactly what does it mean to get a UK secured homeowner loan, anyway?

If you feel a bit lost with the whole process, don't despair? getting a good UK secured homeowner loan doesn't have to be difficult.

The first thing that you need to do is make sure that you understand exactly what the loan that you want is, and what it does.

A loan with security

So exactly what does it mean to get a UK secured homeowner loan? Basically, these loans are designed with the person who owns a house or real estate in mind? the equity of the home is used as collateral to secure the loan, meaning that it guarantees that the loan will be repaid.

If you're not sure what equity is, don't worry? you're definitely not alone. Equity is an indication of how much money the homeowner has invested in the house against the mortgage, referred to by some as the amount of the house the homeowner actually "owns".

If you have a large amount of equity in your house or real estate, then you've already paid off a significant portion of the mortgage and have therefore invested that much into your property.

The more equity that you have in your house entitles you to being eligible for a larger UK secured homeowner loan, since it's the equity that guarantees the loan amount instead of the total value (as would be the case with a mortgage.)

Shopping for your loan

Before committing to a UK secured homeowner loan, it's best to take a little time and shop around for the best loan rate.

You should visit several banks and lending institutions to get quotes, and might also want to consider checking out online lending services as well.

Your goal is to get as many quotes for interest rates and loan repayment terms as possible, so that you can compare them to find the best UK secured homeowner loan that you can.

Taking the extra time to research your loan options will not only give you an idea of what the average UK secured homeowner loan looks like, but will also save you time and money in the long run by helping you to find the loan with the lowest interest rate and the best loan terms for your money.

Whether it's a standard loan from a bank or finance company or a loan that you received from a reputable online service, finding the best deal for your money is always worth the search.

You may freely reprint this article provided the following author's biography (including the live URL link) remains intact:

About The Author

John Mussi is the founder of Direct Online Loans who help homeowners find the best available loans via the http://www.directonlineloans.co.uk website.

More Than I Can Bare

One of my long time best friends called me the other night with a horrible pain in her heart. She needed someone to talk to. Rumor had it her daughter might be suicidal and she was trapped on a business trip until the next evening. Her husband was home handling the situation, but she wasn't going to be okay until she could hold her daughter close. She needed to look deep into her daughter's eyes to get a 'read' on what was really going on inside her mind. Until she could really sit down and talk to her daughter, she could at least pick my brain as to what to do. We talked a bit about when we were seventeen, and I tried to commit suicide. Now, all these years later, what could I say to my friend or to her daughter to make it all better?

I grew up in a very dysfunctional home and had no reason to believe that I was loved or had any sort of an emotional support system. That's not what threw me over the edge although looking back I think it set the stage by insuring a very low self esteem when entering high school. I wanted to die because I was in love with two boys who were best friends and I knew I'd never be able to choose between them. It was more than I could bear. I wanted to escape the pain of dating one and longing for the other. Both were amazing wonderful souls.

I had met one when we were fifteen and we'd fallen instantly into a wonderful relationship. He was my first true love. He was struggling with his mother's new husband and became very distant and moody. In my insecurity, I assumed he wasn't interested in me anymore. To test my theory, I scribbled out a heart he'd drawn on his notebook with our names in it. He took it to mean that I was dumping him and seemed at peace with the idea. I was too hurt and insecure to admit that I was just testing him and didn't really want to break up. He was too hurt and insecure to stop me. Neither of us knew how to speak openly from our hearts. He occasionally asked me out on dates after that. I would think we were about to get back together and then he'd be gone again. He had moved to a nearby town to live with his dad and stepmother. He gave me the telephone number of his best friend to call if I ever needed to reach him.

One night after a year of him dropping in and out of my life and stealing my heart every time, I finally called his friend to find out when he'd be back in town and more importantly, would he ever get back together with me? According to his best friend, the love of my life thought I was a slut even though I was still a virgin and he had no intentions of getting back together with me. However, his best friend was there to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. The best friend was every bit as wonderful and amazing as the first, but in his own unique different ways. We really loved each other. We were sixteen and planning to get married when we turned twenty.

Since they were best friends, my ex would drop in on us to visit and hang out. It was extremely difficult for me to see him during those visits. My head said I should hate him, but my heart still danced a jig every time he walked in the room. My ex and I ended up having a long talk one night. He confessed that he really did say that I was a slut, but that he regretted it and never really felt that way about me. It was just stupid sixteen-year-old boy emotions tied up with our past together He thought I was better off dating his best friend and gave his blessing. It killed me. I was still in love with him and he was telling me to stay with his best friend. His best friend was the sweetest kindest boy I'd ever dated. Neither of us would ever dream of hurting such a beautiful soul. I couldn't tell either of them that I was in love with both and for months I slowly went insane unable to speak openly with either, terrified they'd both reject me.

Eventually, I snapped and couldn't bare the pain of wanting one and the guilt of never wanting to hurt the other. I suspect that it's some kind of a primitive fight or flight mechanism that gets triggered when we become bombarded by negative emotions. When we feel that the situation is hopeless and we have no way of changing the dynamic, then we can't fight it. So, we need to flee and suicide is the ultimate form of taking flight. It's really hard during that time to stop and logically realize that emotions are ever changing and as such they don't have to be fought nor avoided. You just have to wait them out and make positive choices and changes to promote the shift in dynamics that are creating the overwhelming emotions we want to run from. At seventeen, I couldn't see that.

I also think that if a teenager doesn't believe that anyone will cry for them when they're gone, then suicide becomes a very real consideration. Years later when I had two toddlers and my life was a mess, I found myself wanting to escape from life's pain again. It was completely different that time. I knew that my two children would be heart broken and psychologically screwed up for life if I committed suicide. As a single mom, I was their only sense of security. I was their whole world. I could get depressed enough to want to run away from my problems, but I could never seriously consider suicide like I had in high school. Someone needed me and would be destroyed if I left. Perhaps that's where the answer to teen suicide lies. Does the teenager believe that someone else's life will become unbearable if they die?

Almost two years ago, my son came to me in tears and told me that he was suicidal. The idea of life without my child was, more than I could bear. I knew first hand what it feels like to be in so much pain that you just want to die. To imagine my own child feeling that way was worse than anything I've ever endured. We talked a long time about the things that had destroyed his will to live. We talked a lot about the 'feeling' of being suicidal.

We talked mostly about how it's bad enough to have someone you love die unexpectedly in a car wreck or from Cancer or something. It's an entirely different thing to lose them because they chose to leave. I told him to imagine how he would feel if I committed suicide. The pain he felt just imagining it brought him close to tears. He said he couldn't bear it if I did that to him. I told him with tears in my own eyes that I felt the same way. My daughter joined in and in tears she put aside all of their sibling rivalries and poured out her heart regarding how incredibly painful it would be for her if he ever died. We were very close in those next few weeks as we worked together to make a lot of changes in his world and in his outlook. He's doing wonderfully now. He is very happy in a new school, with a girlfriend that is the love of his life, and he's found his old zest for life's adventures again.

So, I guess my advice is this.... Tell her what her death would mean to you. Does she really know in her heart of hearts how much you love her? Don't assume anything. Yeah, you have to take her in to some kind of a therapist. But, whatever you do, don't make her feel like some kind of a screwed up nut. And don't ignore this. Even if she's just talking about suicide to get attention, find out why. She may be testing the waters, looking to see if anyone would even care.

There's nothing more depressing than finding out that nobody would care if you dropped dead tomorrow. Find a way to make her see that emotions are temporary and that together you can fix anything that life throws at you. Does she know you're in her corner? Help her change her life. Find out what it is she's struggling with and coach her, guide her, help her to create positive changes. Teach her how to overcome the pain rather than to succumb to it.

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

About The Author

Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of her books.

Take a Kid Fishing

Take a kid fishing and they will learn to be successful in life. As an avid fisherman for over 30 years I have to look back on my life and consider it a success. I credit that success to my passion for fishing. Why? You ask. Well, I am the youngest of three boys of a single mother. My oldest brother was six years older than I was and loved the outdoors. On occasion he would take me with him and his friends to go fishing. We really had a great time. We caught a few fish, but most of the time we just wound up in a rock skipping contest or swimming.

When I was ten, my brother joined the Navy right out high school. His best friend Joe and I had become pretty good friends. Joe would still come by and pick me up every couple of weeks to go fishing with him. I still remember the first time he took me fishing some thirty years later. Joe liked to fish for catfish, but on my first trip with him I picked up a small white plastic grub worm and asked him to tie it on for me. He said "You won't catch anything with that" and began to dig around in his tackle box for his "secret lure." I protested until he gave in and showed me the proper way to attach it to my line.

Joe returned to his tackle box as I headed to the shoreline to present my offering to my prey. On my first cast, I caught the first fish of the day, moments later I had another. Before Joe could even get his line wet I had three fish to my credit, and my own "secret bait". I believe to this day if I went back to that spot and cast out a white grub, I would catch a fish. That is when I really fell in love with fishing.

The reason I believe my love for fishing helped mold me into a loved husband and an idolized father is all of life's lessons I learned from it. Patience for one, what I mean is if you cast your bait out then just reel it back in. You won't catch many fish. The lesson in that is to cast in the right spot the first time, and then wait for the desired response. To translate this I mean you can't just go from job to job or marriage to marriage and expect to be successful at it.

By taking a kid fishing you also teach them respect for the space of others. For example: If you cast your line over the line of another fisherman you both become tangled, greatly decreasing the success for both of you to catch any fish. To top it off they may become angry, especially if you continue to do it. Translation: Teaching a kid to fish teaches them to co-exist with others by respecting their space.

These are only a few of life's lessons that can be learned from fishing. You may know a kid that would benefit for a lifetime from the lessons in fishing, even if you just wind up skipping rocks. If you don't have any kids or are considering having a kid, I would recommend Big Brothers/Big Sisters. They match you with disadvantaged kids in your area, all you do is hang out with them every couple of weeks and teach them life's lessons. I was involved with them as a boy and still hang out with my big brother from time to time.

The Fishing Vacation Guide- All the very best fishing vacation destinations, fishing tips, fish recipes, and so much more!

Making Sense of the Information in Your Credit Report

If you've ever applied for a credit card or loan, you've probably had your credit report reviewed by the lender. Your credit report has a huge impact on your financial future, so it's well worth your time to be sure that you understand what your credit report says about you.

Even if you're not interested in obtaining credit, your credit report can impact other areas of your life. Potential employers view your credit report to assess your trustworthiness as an employee. Landlords frequently check the credit reports of their tenants before allowing them to sign or renew their lease.

You can request copies of your report from the three major credit bureaus: Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion. A recent amendment to the federal Fair Credit Reporting Act requires each of these national consumer reporting companies to provide you with a yearly free copy of your credit report upon your request.

Basically, your credit report is a summary of how you pay your bills; repay loans; how much credit you have available; what your monthly debts are; and other types of information that can help a prospective lender decide if you are a good credit risk.

Your credit report is made up of several sections. The first section contains personal identifying information such as your name, current and previous addresses, social security number, telephone number, birth date, and your current and previous employers.

Your bill paying history with banks, retail stores, finance companies, mortgage companies, and others who have granted you credit is one of the most important parts of your credit report.

Public records that might indicate your credit worthiness, such as tax liens, court judgments, and bankruptcies are also included in the section detailing your credit history.

Your credit report includes a comprehensive listing of all credit granters and other individuals who have received a copy of your credit report. In addition, lists of companies that have received your name and address in order to offer you credit are also included in your credit report.

Most credit bureaus allow both the consumer and the creditor to make statements if there is a dispute about something on the report. If applicable, your credit report will include these dispute statements.

Your credit report does not include bank account balances, race, religion, health, criminal records, driving records, or annual income. You've probably heard about a FICO credit score as well. Credit scores are based on formulas that use the information in your report, but they're not considered part of your credit report.

Problems with your credit report will result in you either being denied credit or receiving a higher interest rate. Red flags on your credit report include excessive applications for additional credit, a short credit history, a high debt ratio, and late payments to previous creditors.

In most cases, negative information will stay on your report for seven years. However, bankruptcy information stays on your credit report for ten years.

To help improve your credit report, always remember to close unused accounts, pay your bills on time, never use all of your available credit, and don't apply for unnecessary credit.

Copyright (c)2005 by Michael Ambrosio. You may publish this article on your site or in your newsletter provided this resource box remains in tact. Michael Ambrosio is the author of many credit related articles. Visit his website today: http://www.yourcreditandyou.com and rebuild your credit.

The MOST Expensive Mistake You Can Make

Most people who own a small business have a huge passion and talent for the product or service they provide. Some people have a business degree. Some even have MBA's or PhD's. But, most who own their own business just have a passion for what they do.

So, they try to make a difference...and a profit.

But, running your own business is very hard. We all hear the statistics...one in five don't make it, every third small business fails, one out of two flop and on and on and on. Plus, small business owners have to wear a lot of hats: sales person, marketing manager, accountant, janitor, customer service representative, human resource department, etc...

You name it, small business owners do it.

The learning curve is great. And business owners make many mistakes. Some mistakes are just part of the growing process, while other mistakes may cost only a few bucks or thousands of dollars. But one mistake I am about to describe can be the MOST expensive mistake you can make in running a small business.

What's the mistake?

It is the very simple, but VERY costly mistake of having your logo, stationery, brochures, web site and all other marketing materials for your small business look cheap, poorly designed, thrown together and unprofessional.

Every single week, I see a multitude of small business owners who are making this very mistake. They just don't get it. They don't realize the cost of this mistake. They don't realize how much damage they are doing to their business and brand by using these unprofessional and poorly designed marketing materials. Essentially, what they are doing is creating a sub-par first impression that is burned into the mind of new prospects forever.

The old adage is true...you never get a second chance to make a first impression. In running a small business, you cannot afford to look thrown together, cheap and unprofessional.

Why is this mistake so costly? Simple. It's because most small businesses look alike. Most look cheap. Most look unprofessional. In an effort to "save money", most just throw their marketing materials together or hire the cheapest person they can find to design them. Because of this, they don't stand out from the crowd. They don't look like the experts they are and they don't attract clients, which is precisely why this mistake is so costly.

Is this how you look? Is this what you do? Is this what you have done? If you have, you have made a HUGE mistake. You must stand out from the crowd. You must be different. You must look different. You must show the world that you care enough to invest in professionally designed marketing materials.

If you don't stand out, if you don't look professional, if you look cheap, amateurish and thrown together, a few things will happen. Prospects will pass on your products or services and go to your competitors. You will not earn the price you are worth. You will not be trusted as the very best in your field. Prospects will view and judge you as someone you are not. You will have a very hard time building your reputation. Most importantly, you will lose money. Period.

The only way to stand out in the highly competitive marketplace and correct this mistake is by having a professional, reputable design firm create and produce all of your marketing materials. Having these materials professionally created is an investment, NOT an expense. Professionally designed materials will brand you as the expert you are, attract clients to your business and position your business over your competition.

Don't make the same mistake so many other small business owners make. Hire a professional design firm. Do it right the first time. By having a professional image you will be light years ahead of your competition. You will stand out from your competition and project the image of your expertise. This worthwhile investment will net a valuable return over the life of your small business.

Jeanna Pool is President of CATALYST creative, inc., an award-winning graphic design, web design and marketing firm located in Denver, Colorado. She helps small business owners who are really good at what they do, but struggle to market their services effectively to attract more clients on a consistent basis. She can be contacted at http://www.catalystcreativeinc.com or call 303.380.9100.

Elliptical Trainer Benefits

There are so many elliptical trainer benefits to list that some would say it's the perfect way to exercise. Elliptical exercise trainers meet the overall need of any exercise program. They combine a weight bearing exercise that limits the impact on the body while optimizing the cardiovascular benefits creating a total body workout routine.

One of the best elliptical trainer benefits is the weight bearing exercises that help in maintaining and improving bone density. Elliptical cross trainers burn more calories and make you feel like you have been on a brisk walk with all the benefits of a good jogging session.

The elliptical motion of the machine provides low impact because your feet never leave the footpads. It creates a smooth and continuous movement that eliminates the stress on your joints. This provides a totally impact free cardio workout routine.

The elliptical exercise trainers are programmed with different training settings to help monitor your cardio workout routine and allow you to set one, two or all three of the following: resistance, speed and ramp. The workouts can be very intense or relatively easy depending on the training program you select.

Elliptical cross trainers provide a great workout for your lower body as well as toning and building leg muscles. It's ideal for losing weight because it burns more calories that a treadmill or exercise bike. If you are overweight it helps you burn calories while you seem to be leisurely gliding along. Grab the moving handles and work the upper body muscles for a total body workout routine.

Elliptical cross trainers are one of the best pieces of exercise equipment to hit the fitness industry in years. They provide a relatively easy and enjoyable form of exercise that you will look forward to coming back to over and over again.

Several gyms are buying more elliptical exercise trainers because the demand is so great. Once you use one you'll be hooked because thirty minutes is all it takes for a total body workout routine. You exercise at whatever level you are or whatever level you want to achieve.

You can challenge yourself on your high energy days or you can just maintain on other days. The choice is up to you. Getting fit, losing weight and improving your overall health are only a few elliptical trainer benefits.

Copyright ? 2005 Treadmill Info.com All Rights Reserved.

This article is supplied by http://www.treadmill-info.com where you will find valuable information, ratings, reviews, articles and buying tips before you make the investment in quality fitness equipment. For more fitness related articles go to: http://www.treadmill-info.com/articles_1.html